i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
