I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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