it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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