I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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