God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
