dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
