ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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