I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
