Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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