if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
