I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
