Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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