I bet he comes in French.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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