her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize