i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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