I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
