she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize