Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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