i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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