I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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