Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
