Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize