woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
