if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize