We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
