just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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