the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize