Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
