All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
how drunk are you?
Several
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
