Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
