last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
