I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
