Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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