I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
