Fuck appropriateness.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
