i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
