no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
