just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
