I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
