bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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