you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I wish there were birth control emojis
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
