so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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