Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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