Apparently you make a good broom.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
