how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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