ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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