ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
