But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
