he wants to bone in the snuggie
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize