even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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