I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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