we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
