1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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