You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
