When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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