K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
