it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
