Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
